TZVI

Ani & Ayin – Nothing as the source of Everything:

admin — Mon, 16 Aug 2021 08:22:28 +0000

Who am I? – The “Ani”

Every individual shares a name with G-d. In Hebrew, the word “Ani” means “I.” The word “Ani” is also one of the names of G-d, “Ani”, the infinite “I”.

This shared name is hinting to a deep connection between man & G-d. One’s own existence is hinting to the larger Existence of G-d, the ultimate Ani. (Mystics explain that knowledge of G-d is really an expansion of the most primary knowledge, that I exist.) Let’s explore this relationship a little deeper.

The Source of Existence

In Torah thought, G-d is understood as the source of existence. The Rambam expresses this Idea beautifully as the opening Laws of Judaism: (free translation)

“The foundation of foundations and the pillar that all wisdom rests upon is the knowledge of the Primary existence which allows for the existence of anything else. If one could imagine that this Primary existence would cease to exist then nothing else could possibly exist. But if one could imagine that everything else ceases to exist, that would not affect the existence of the Primary existence…”

G-d enables all of existence. This is one of the defining attributes of G-d.

The Nefesh HaChayim adds some imagery to the above concept, imagery borrowed from Chazal’s description of G-d as “makom,” “place.”

“Just as the “makom”(place) enables an object to exist, so does G-d enable the world to exist. Without the makom, there would be no “place” for a thing to exist. G-d is the “place” of existence.”

Noticing “Place”

“Place” gives “Space,” the space for things to be.

Look around the room you’re in. Do you notice any objects? How is any object able to sit there? Because it has place/space. The room may be filled with many objects and our mind tries to locate and identify all of them. But what gets no attention is the place/space that enables the objects to be. All these objects are in a place with space. Try noticing the space itself. I’m not even referring to the confines of the room – i.e. the walls, floor and ceiling of the room. Those too are just “things” in their place/space – they can only be there because there’s space which allows for them to exist. Try noticing the place/space that allows for every thing to be.

This is a tricky exercise for a mind that hasn’t traveled down the road we’re taking. The mind is so busy seeking “things” or “stuff” to understand that it distracts us from noticing the presence of a more basic, more profound underlying truth. But once you detect the essence of what I’m describing you will recognize it as being so obvious that you no longer need words to describe it.

A good illustration of this is the relationship between a painting and a canvas. The painting sits on a canvas. It’s easy to get preoccupied with the painting and pay no attention to the canvas, but make no mistake – the canvas enables the painting to be.

Noticing “Silence”

We can extend the imagery to sound. Do you notice any sound right now? Notice how that sound is located on a backdrop of silence. Don’t let the sound fill all your attention. Capture the silence that surrounds and permeates every sound you hear.

Space & Silence are “Nothing”

There is a common denominator between space & silence. They underlie and enable everything to be and yet they themselves are nothing! Silence is no sound. Space is no thing. We only detect these dimensions against the backdrop of “stuff.” And yet in order for “stuff” to be, there MUST be these underlying elements.

Really these elements are the same thing, or rather the same “no-thing,” just manifested on different plains. (A manifestation of “nothing,” as paradoxical as it sounds.) This dimension of nothing permeates everything. It is present in every experience. It is constant. It is absolute and inescapable. It simply IS. You may have detected this dimension before. You may recognize what I’m describing. But it is so obvious that it is practically viewed as insignificant. What can possibly be gained from “nothing?” (This is what the Mesilas Yeshirim famously says in his intro – that which is so well known is also so easily forgotten.)

“Something” from “Nothing”

This recognition of “stuff” on the backdrop of nothing is described as “yesh m’ayin” “something from nothing.” However, it has been pointed out that since all “somethings” are enabled by the dimension of “nothing”, it turns out that the nothing is more substantial than the something! So more accurately we should say “Ayin m’Yesh” “nothing from Something!”

tune into the source dimension, where there’s no thing and yet it contains everything. all the real and true stuff of life is not contained in the ordinary “stuff” that fills our line of vision, but rather in the experience of the dimension of being which allows the existence of everything else.

Ayin (Nothing) = Ani (I)

Possibly the deepest manifestation of the dimension of nothing that enables something is our self, the “I,” the “Ani.” The word “Ani” which shares the same root as “Ayin.” There’s a part of us that is “Ayin” but it enables our whole self to be.

One of life’s growing pains is in each individual’s drive to define themselves. “Who/what am I?” This is the mind’s occupation with using a “thing” to define the self. But what “thing” can really capture the infinite depths of you, which truly is “no thing?” The Ani which is Ayin.

For lack of better words, I would use the term “consciousness” to correspond to the “canvas” of our minds. Our minds have a lot of “stuff” going through them – thoughts, emotions, images. Don’t get tangled or caught up in the stuff. Just notice how you can notice it. Be sensitive to your ability to observe this mind “stuff.” This mind-“stuff” can only be there because YOU – the “Ani” are enabling it!

“Ani” – the Divine “I” within you

You provide the life force, the energy for your mind to operate. Your “Ani,” or better said, YOU are the force that enables your mind to be – and yet what are you? “Ayin.” Nothing. Not nothing in the condescending, insulting sense, but nothing in the ineffable sense, the sense that the true you is divine. The same way G-d is the “place” of the world, the “nothing” that sits beneath the “something,” the ultimate “Ani” giving existence to the world, so too, you, the “Ani,” the real you, grant existence to your mind and the resulting reality you encounter.

Tisha B’Av 5780 – Permission to Speak

admin — Mon, 19 Jul 2021 08:27:17 +0000

The Egg of Tisha B’Av & Pesach

The Rema (O”C 476:2) makes an odd association between Tisha B’Av and Pesach:

הגה: נוֹהֲגִים בִּקְצָת מְקוֹמוֹת לֶאֱכֹל בַּסְּעֻדָּה בֵּיצִים, זֵכֶר לַאֲבֵלוּת, וְנִרְאֶה לִי הַטַּעַם מִשּׁוּם שֶׁלֵּיל (ג) תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב נִקְבַּע בְּלֵיל פֶּסַח

The reason we eat eggs on the Seder Night (Pesach), is because the Seder night is somehow connected to the mourning of Tisha B’Av.

Huh?

Yes, it happens to be that the first night of Pesach always falls on the same day of the week as the night of Tisha B’Av, and by Tisha B’Av, too, the custom is to eat an egg, but it feels something more is beneath the surface connection here.

Egg = “No Mouth”

The egg is featured at meals of mourning because it “has no mouth.” Mourners are understood to have “no mouth” – mourners practice silence, their conversation is limited, they don’t exchange greetings with people.

On Tisha B’Av, too, we have many practices of mourning, including limited conversation and no exchange of greetings, and thus the egg is appropriately featured at the Tisha B’Av se’udas hamafsekes to remind us we have “no mouth.”

But what does “no mouth” have to do with Pesach? If anything, lack of speech would be the opposite of Pesach! We’re encouraged to speak all night with Sippur Yetzias Mitzrayim. Even the word Pesach is understood as a construct of two words: “Peh Sach,” literally the mouth speaks!

Tisha B’Av & the Loss of Speech

To understand this, we need to explore the true “no mouth” mourning of Tisha B’Av. The first Tisha B’Av happened in the desert with the sin of the spies. The spies caused the Jews to cry in vain, so Hashem gave them real reason to cry. That day it was decreed that the Jews would wander in the desert for 40 years, but that was also the day that God stopped speaking with Moshe for 40 years. For 40 years the Jews received no Torah. Speech was literally silenced. Real speech, Divine speech was suspended. Since then, on every Tisha b’av we curtail speech, including Divine Speech – one is not allowed to learn Divrei Torah. The reason is obvious, that is the day Torah ceased for the 40 years in the desert.

This explains that G-d went silent, but what does that have to do with our silence?

Loss of Speech = Rejection

The answer is that G-d not speaking to us was a sign that G-d did not want to hear from us, either. When G-d speaks to us, it’s not just to give us orders, but rather to invite us in conversation. G-d wants to hear from us. He wants us to be engaged in dialogue with Him. Dialogue, not just with words but with Kavanah, too. Are we G-d-conscious when we Daven? Are we G-d-conscious when we do mitzvos?

Tisha B’Av is the day we painfully experienced G-d not wanting to hear from us – not our tefillos, not our mitzvos:

{יא} לָמָּה לִּי רֹב זִבְחֵיכֶם יֹאמַר יְהוָה שָׂבַעְתִּי עֹלוֹת אֵילִים וְחֵלֶב מְרִיאִים וְדַם פָּרִים וּכְבָשִׂים וְעַתּוּדִים לֹא חָפָצְתִּי: {יב} כִּי תָבֹאוּ לֵרָאוֹת פָּנָי מִי בִקֵּשׁ זֹאת מִיֶּדְכֶם רְמֹס חֲצֵרָי: {יג} לֹא תוֹסִיפוּ הָבִיא מִנְחַת שָׁוְא קְטֹרֶת תּוֹעֵבָה הִיא לִי חֹדֶשׁ וְשַׁבָּת קְרֹא מִקְרָא לֹא אוּכַל אָוֶן וַעֲצָרָה: {יד} חָדְשֵׁיכֶם וּמוֹעֲדֵיכֶם שָׂנְאָה נַפְשִׁי הָיוּ עָלַי לָטֹרַח נִלְאֵיתִי נְשֹׂא{טו} וּבְפָרִשְׂכֶם כַּפֵּיכֶם אַעְלִים עֵינַי מִכֶּם גַּם כִּי תַרְבּוּ תְפִלָּה אֵינֶנִּי שֹׁמֵעַ:

{ח} גַּם כִּי אֶזְעַק וַאֲשַׁוֵּעַ שָׂתַם תְּפִלָּתִי:

{מד} סַכּוֹתָה בֶעָנָן לָךְ מֵעֲבוֹר תְּפִלָּה:

We were “nizufim laMakom” “rejected to G-d.” Thus, we have “no mouth.”

But, the rejection was never a permanent measure.

{כא} זֹאת אָשִׁיב אֶל לִבִּי עַל כֵּן אוֹחִיל: {לא} כִּי לֹא יִזְנַח לְעוֹלָם אֲדֹנָי:

Return of Spech = Chosen-ness

That same day, Tisha B’Av at the end of 40 years in the desert was when Divine, Godly speech returned. The Gemara recounts how G-d started communicating again with Moshe and the Jewish people on the 15^th of Av.

Every year the Yiddin of the midbar would enter a grave on Tisha B’Av and sleep. The next morning, only some would rise. The dead remained in their graves. This happened every year until Tisha B’Av of the 40^th year. In that 40^th year, the Yiddin of the midbar again entered their graves on Tisha B’Av but the next morning all of them arose!

Unsure why no one died, they assumed it was the wrong date, so they did so the next night. Same result, no one died. They did this the next few nights until the 15^th of Av when it became clear the decree ended. The only reason why G-d’s word didn’t return on the 9^th of Av – the day the decree ended – was because Moshe was still grieving unaware that the decree was reversed.

So, on the last Tisha B’Av in the desert we had “no mouth” – not from rejection, but because we didn’t realize Hashem wanted to hear from us!

Pesach, too, is the yuntif where it became clear that the Yidden were the opposite of rejected. The Yidden were “the chosen.” However, until we knew He wanted us engaged, we waited with “no mouth.” {כו} טוֹב וְיָחִיל וְדוּמָם לִתְשׁוּעַת יְהוָה:

Once we got the message, we realized we were chosen to speak.

Egg = Waiting to Speak

This is what the egg represents; The “no mouth” of those who G-d doesn’t want to hear from – the “rejected,” but also the “no mouth” of those waiting to be heard from – the chosen. And once they are chosen, let them speak, endlessly, of how G-d chose us and wants to hear from us. “V’chol hamarbe lisaper, harei zeh meshubach.”

Hashem wants to hear from us. Our Prayers, Our mitzvos. Not the outer shell. He wants us, internally, to be in communion with Him.

Just as the 9^th of Av was converted from the “no mouth” of rejection into the “mouth” of the chosen, so too, the future of Tisha B’Av will be converted from a day of mourning into a yuntif, a “Moed,” a day of communion (as in the Ohel Moed –the place where G-d communicates with the Jewish people) – and when we hear the voice of G-d, we’ll know He’s looking to hear back from us.

Measure for Measure | Middah knegged Middah

admin — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:41:07 +0000

Middah kneged Middah:

At the most basic level, Middah kneged Middah shows there’s a system of justice, tit for tat. Furthermore, it obviously demonstrates that Hashem is paying attention and keeping a cheshbon.

But let’s look deeper.

Middah kneged Middah as the framework for Reward & Punishment:

The Mishna in chelek speaks about those who don’t get olam haba. The gemara asks why are they punished such, and answers that because the person denied reward, they no longer get a portion of that reward because that is exactly an expression of Middah kneged Middah. The gemara lays it out that “all the middos of Hashem are Middah kneged Middah. “

גמרא. וכל כך למה? תנא: הוא כפר בתחיית המתים – לפיכך לא יהיה לו חלק בתחיית המתים, שכל מדותיו של הקדוש ברוך הוא מדה כנגד מדה.

Olam Haba is the reward. Non-Olam Haba is the punishment. And reward & punishment work within the framework of Middah kneged Middah.

Reward & Punishment are intrinsic to the deeds:

Reward and Punishment are heavy topics that are laced with much dogma and emotion. I think we can penetrate the thicket with a question:

Is reward and punishment arbitrary or intrinsic?

For example: A parent invites his child to clean their room and offers two “rewards” as incentive. One is a bag of candy, and two is the clean room. Notice the difference between these two rewards. The first reward has no intrinsic connection to the task; the second reward is exactly the fruits of the task. When a person works on cleaning his room, the work automatically brings about a clean room. The more cleaning done, the cleaner the room. But what element of the work generated a bag of candy? Nothing. The candy could easily be replaced with pizza or the like.

The same principle is true for punishment. L’mashal: When a parent commands a child not to walk into the street, and the child disobeys and gets struck by a car, that is the “punishment” for disobeying the parent. The results were a necessary corollary of the action. As opposed to when a child is grounded for misbehavior; the behavior has no intrinsic connection to the grounding. Grounding is just one of many forms of discipline.

When we are told of Olam Haba as “reward” and non-Olam Haba is “punishment,” how should we view G-d’s system of reward and punishment? Do you see it as arbitrary or intrinsic? Is Olam Haba the spiritual version of the “bag of candy” that has no intrinsic relationship to what you’ve done, or is Olam Haba exactly the fruits of your doing?

(I have heard the answer “I don’t know” to this question. However, when I ask the non-knower what they truly believe, they admit that intrinsic reward seems self-evident. How could it be otherwise?

I must admit, though, that I cannot prove this premise. And when I ask people if they can “prove” that intrinsic reward is the true grasp of spiritual reward, they too fumble. But, again, they return to a knowledge that they know deep inside, that intrinsic reward seems self-evident. How could it be otherwise?)

Middah kneged middah suggests more than just good deeds get rewarded and bad deeds get punished. Middah kneged middah suggests there’s a more direct, more intrinsic relationship between then deed and the payment. The acts necessarily yield their results. We usually don’t use “reward” in such a sense but when the Torah uses the idea of reward it is describing essence not coincidence.

Intrinsic Reward & Punishment affect the person, not his circumstances:

Let’s go another step deeper:

The simple understanding of reward is that Hashem sends good stuff to people who do good and bad stuff to people who do bad. The person doesn’t really change. Only his circumstances change.

But a deeper understanding is that the person changes. Good deeds make a good person, bad deeds make a bad person.

Rabbi Dessler applies this understanding to the incident of Hashem hardening paroh’s heart. R’ Dessler quotes the Midrash Rabba:

“R’ Yochanan says: this verse seems to give heretics an opportunity to assert that Paroh was denied the ability to do t’shuva!

Reish Lakish replied: The wicked can say nothing! “G-d scoffs at the scoffers.” If G-d warns a person once, twice, thrice and the person doesn’t respond, He locks the doors of his heart in order to punish him for previous sins. Similarly, G-d warned paroh five times but he took no notice. G-d said to him: You have hardened you neck and deadened your heart. I will add tumah onto your tumah.”

R’ Dessler parallels the idea of this midrash to another statement of chazal:

“When a person sins and repeats his sin, it becomes to him as if it [is no longer a sin, but rather] is permissible.” “Naaseh Lo K’heter.”

R’ Dessler explains that the repeat-sinner’s understanding of reality has changed. We can describe it as G-d “adding tumah onto your tumah,” but this is not a new decree issued only to paroh, rather this is a natural consequence of the repeat sinner.

Let’s explain this.

A person creates his world of influence – that’s the Intrinsic Reward & Punishment:

A person works within a framework of what he feels is real. Whatever is seen as real or substantial will be noticed, need to be reckoned with, will influence a person’s reality.

A few examples:

When there is a wall in front of me, if I want to advance forward, I will need to find a door or go around the wall. That I need to reckon with the wall’s presence is readily apparent.

On a more refined level, when someone sees a police officer he avoids speeding, illegal U-turns, etc. Nothing inherent in the badge or uniform should stop a car from moving. But the recognition of schar v’onesh, somehow tames the person. This is because the person sees the reality of schar v’onesh, and so he must work within that framework.

Another example: Someone is trying to make a decision on a certain matter. He seeks counsel. Two people offer their opinion- a child and a professional. The opinion of the child is not going to weigh anything in the mind of the decision maker. The professional opinion will more likely be received. This is because the professional advice is perceived as having substance, and only that which has substance, influences a person’s world.

At the battlefront of free choice what is happening is that two opposing “realities” of equal weight are fighting for their Metzius. Whichever side you chose you are essentially declaring as more substantial. In other words, the victorious side has just become more of a Metzius and the losing side is less of a Metzius. Now the sides are no longer equal. The victorious side has become more real and thus has more influence. The losing side has become less real now and thus less influential. If the battle is repeated, and the same results occur what eventually happens is that there will no longer be a battle. The victorious side will be such a compelling reality that one cannot even entertain the alternative. He has rejected the alternative to the point where it has no more influence. He took away its reality. M’mayla, Naaseh Lo K’heter.

In paroah’s case, he stripped truth of all its substance. Truth no longer entered his world, or mind, to influence him. This was a “natural consequence,” intrinsically tied to what he did.

Let’s go another step deeper.

Hashem’s desire to emulate us is the cause of the hanhaga of Middah knegged Middah:

Rav Hutner (Pachad Yitzchak, Pesach: 56), in explaining the mitzvah of emulating Hashem, points out something breath-taking.

According to R’Hutner, Hashem, so to speak, emulates us. AND because Hashem emulates us that we see a hanhaga of Middah kneged Middah! Middah kneged middah is not just Hashem’s system of justice; it’s Hashem’s wish to emulate us.

Hashem has reality reflect who we are.

The Rambam (Moreh Nevuchim 3:18) applies this phenomenon to G-d’s oversight (divine providence/hashgacha) over all people.

“the greater the share is which a person has obtained of this Divine influence, on account of both his physical predisposition and his training, the greater must also be the effect of Divine Providence upon him, for the action of Divine Providence is proportional to the endowment of intellect, as has been mentioned above. The relation of Divine Providence is therefore not the same to all men; the greater the human perfection a person has attained, the greater the benefit he derives from Divine Providence. … This belief that God provides for every individual human being in accordance with his merits is one of the fundamental principles on which the Law is founded.”

A chilling illustration of this is the story of Adam eating from the Eitz Hadaas. After eating, Adam hides from G-d. Is it possible to hide from G-d? Obviously not. But somehow Adam thinks that G-d doesn’t know where he is? How does G-d respond to Adam’s hiding? G-d asks “Ayeca?” “Where are you?” G-d, so to speak, plays along and follows the reality that Adam has established.

(Similarly, Sefer HaIkkarim applies this principle to prayer. Bothered by the question of how can we change G-d’s mind or will with our Prayers – Since G-d is unchangeable – He explains that prayer doesn’t change G-d but rather changes the person who prays. G-d’s goodness is poised and ready to flow to the person who improve/perfects himself. The degree of goodness you receive is a reflection of who you are.)

Hashem has reality reflect who we are. Or, on a more subtle level, who we are is the cause of our reality.

A personal story: I had a sales position to sell securities (stocks, bonds, mutual funds, asset management, etc.). These were investment vehicles that I did not fully believe in (for reasons I won’t explain here). I met with many prospects. How do you think my sales performance was? Dismal. I just couldn’t sell. I believe my lack of success was because my attitude towards these investments was reflected back to me by my prospects. My prospects essentially communicated to me that they didn’t believe in these investments either.

Mechanics of Middah knegged Middah – Hashem’s response or your own inner reality?

What are the mechanics of middah knegged middah? Is it Hashem that “sends” the consequence, or is it a natural consequence (“sphysics” = spiritual physics) built into the fabric of reality like cleaning the room?

The answer is staggering: the mechanics of Middah kneged Middah will depend on your understanding of Hashem, because remember, your reality is a reflection of your consciousness.

This idea is well articulated by R’ Aryeh Kaplan in “Inner Space” page 98-99:

“When referring to G-d’s interaction with creation, we can think of Him in two distinct yet complimentary ways. We can speak of G-d as the Creator of the universe, thus conceiving him as a “Being.” On the other hand we can speak of G-d as the creative Force that gives existence to the universe, thus conceiving of Him as an abstract “Principle.”

The main thing that characterizes G-d as a being is that we can relate to Him personally. When we view G-d as the creator and master of the universe we are ascribing anthropomorphic concepts to Him that are most fitting to an Omniscient sentient being.

The main thing that characterizes a principle, on the other hand, is that there is no place where it does not exist. This is like taking a mathematical principle such as 1+1=2. This simple equation is a good example of something that does not exist in space, and yet, at the same time, exists everywhere. This is true of every universal principle. By nature, an abstract principle is completely independent of space and time.

For many reasons, therefore, it would be useful to think of G-d as a principle rather than a being. For one thing, it would make it readily understandable how He exists outside of space and time and yet fills all space and time. For another, an idea such as this breaks down the stereotyped anthropomorphic concepts that people have about G-d.”

This is a delicate shift in our G-d paradigm. Are you relating to G-d as a being or principle?

If you relate to G-d as a being then G-d “responds” by wielding reality to meet you measure for measure.

If you relate to G-d as a principle, then G-d is not a being wielding reality. G-d is reality – the reality that you caused to influence and govern your life.

For further treatment of this topic, see R’ Yerucham, daas Torah, parshas D’varim, “Hashem tzilcha” & “klallus habriya”