We have the parsha of Arayos, and one can’t help notice the term Giluy Erva. The Aveira is Giluy Arayos. I mean the whole relationship is inappropriate, but the terminology used to describe the issur is giluy. We find this by Noach, too, with the incident with Cham. Whatever happened by Noach, whether Cham was mesariso or whether he was ba'alo, either way the passuk describes the problem as Vayisgal Besoch Oholo. He was nisgal, and the tikun was ויכס את ערות אביו. So you have again, the problem is Giluy and the zeh l’umas zeh is Giluy versus kisuy.
Earlier in the parsha there’s the mitzvah of kisuy hadam. When you shecht a chaya or an of, you have to be mechasseh damo. The Rishonim give different ta’amim for the mitzvah. Some say it’s a harchaka from avodah zarah. Some say it’s to avoid people thinking that a korban was nekrav bachutz, which is assur, or that people ate the dam. However, the Or Hachaim Hakadosh says over here that it’s similar to kevuras meis. Just like there's a chiyuv kevuras meis, so too there's a chiyuv of kisuy dam. So he's omeid on the nekuda that the kisuy dam is a form of kevura. But that gufa begs the question: what's the common nekuda between kisuy and kevura in both dam and guf ha’adam?
Another interesting nekuda in kisuy hadam. The Gemara in Shabbos in the sugya of Ner Chanukah says we learn the concept of bizayon mitzvos from kisuy hadam, since you need to be mechasseh beyad, not beregel. And the Gemara calls kisuy hadam is avohen dekulla – Kisuy hadam is the Av, the shoresh for the whole concept of biziuy mitzvah. And within Bizuiy, we have tashmishei kedusha – tefillin or mezuzah for example – which have a kedusha within them, so they require kevurah. But tashmishei mitzvah – like tzitzis, lulav, etc – don’t have kedusha, and af al pi kein, require some form of kisuy. This means whatever the yesod of Bizuy Mitzvah is, the havana will be found in kisuy hadam. I want to try to understand that.
So let’s be misbonen on an inyan that's very deep in the briyah.
The Gemara when discussing Kiddush Hachodesh gets into the different positions of levanah and shemesh. And it says מעולם לא ראתה חמה בפגימת הלבנה. The sun does not see the pegima of the levana.
There’s a similar Chazal about Rabbi Yehoshua having an argument with a bas melech, and she asked him, if Hakadosh Baruch Hu created woman from man and it's supposed to be good, why did he have to put him to sleep? Rabbi Yehoshua responded: were you ever in the kitchen when they prepared dinner for the king? She said no. He said: next time, go in the kitchen as they prepare the meal. She went there and she lost her appetite. Rabbi Yehushua explained that if you see how it's prepared, you lose your appetite.
The vort in these Chazal are this: anything that's bechisronam is not supposed to be b’gilluy; fakhert, its gilluy is actually unappealing and better off being concealed. If you see how something is formed, if you see how something gets its metzius. then you lose a cheshek for it because you saw its chisaron, and not in its shleimus.
Everything in the world when it’s in its incomplete stage, when its b’chisaron, it belongs to the chelkei habria that are behester. When it reaches its shleimus, then it belongs b’galuy.1
This is recurring in Teva:
- When a fetus is developing, it's behester. The whole metzius of conception until the vlad is nishlam with tzuras adam is behester until it has the tzuras adam. Once it reaches its shleimusdik tzura, then it comes out b’galuy.
- Seeds grow in the ground, out of sight. When it reaches a shleimus as a plant or tree, then it breaks ground and is megaleh atzmo.
- A fruit before it's developed, there's very little gilluy. An apple will be small and green, it doesn't really display itself. But when it's reached its stage of shleimus, it gains color and there’s what to see, it's megaleh atzmo.
And this pattern is true in Adam’s tchunas hanefesh. HKBH stamped into Adam’s tchunas Hanfesh the middos of busha and kavod.
The teva of somebody who is misbayesh is that he hides himself. He withdraws by not appearing in public, by not making eye contact, by literally hiding his face in shame. In Lashon HaKodesh, the word chafar, ches pei reish, means two things: it means embarrassed or humiliated, and it also means to dig. In other words, a person who is embarrassed would like to dig and bury himself.2
Kavod, on the other hand is the opposite. The metzius of kavod is hispayer olai. I want to show off. I want to march my pe'er in front of you. Things that are bishleimus and beyofyam, are revealed and seen. Melech beyofyo sachzena. A person needs to see the Melech when he's beyofyo. A Melech has to be megaleh himself in his fullest, most beautiful tzura because that's the tzura that deserves gilui.
So Hakadosh Baruch Hu stamped in us a techuna to be b’gilui, and a techuna be withdrawn and mechuseh.
Before Adam Harishon was chotei, his guf was shleimusdik. It was kadosh and it was completely begalui. It was Melech beyofyo sachzena. When he was chotei, he diminished it’s kedusha, he was pogem the guf and it lost the shleimus of its tzura. B’meila, it became something no longer worthy of giluy. Hakadosh Baruch Hu asked him ayeka? Adam Harishon instinctively hid and concealed himself. He became unworthy of display. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu agreed with him. Hakadosh Baruch Hu had to be mechaseh his erva.
The word ervah is the weak point of something. When Yosef accused his brothers of spying, he saidערות הארץ באתם לרגל you've come to see ervas ha'aretz. Ervas ha'aretz is the weak point of the land, the point that should be hidden.
The makom erva became the makom kilkul of Adam. It should be m’chuseh because it's bekilkul, it's not beshleimus. This is the first illustration we have a kisuy of something that was supposed to be b’giluy.
This is the same tochen behind Kevuras adam and kissuy hadam. When the guf has it’s Neshama, the guf has a shleimus to its tzura, and belongs in the olam ha’giluy. However, once the Neshama leaves, it’s a p’gam to the guf, it’s the guf b’kilkulo, and at that point it no longer belongs in the olam ha’giluy. It needs kisuy and kevurah. The dam, too, it had nitzotz of chiyus and when it spills, it’s in a fallen state of chisaron, and it needs kisuy and kevurah.
The inyan of Bizuy Mitzvos is exactly this. Tashmishei mitzvah was something that had a shleimusdik tzurah when it was used for a mitzvah – it had its notzotz of chiyus – but now it’s gone, When it’s no longer used for a mitzvah, its no longer b’shleimus, so it needs kisuy and kevurah.
Kevurah is taking those inyanim that should be withdrawn from the briah, and covering them, making sure they don’t find expression in the world. They are not supposed to be b’giluy. Fakhert, exposing them means presenting them as devarim tovim u’shleimim, as if they are a correct tzura, which is wrong!
And that’s where the p’gam of Giluy Arayos is. The problem is not just in the Arayos, it’s in the Giluy! A person is displaying the chelek of himself that should have been m’chuseh. His giluy is a statement not just that he has no busha, but that to him, this is an ideal worth being m’galeh. It’s literally the inversion of the techunos of busha and kavod.
I want to talk a little bit about the giluy arayos which affect society in a very strong way. There’s an extraordinary exhibitionism today in this arena. A person who is not gadur in this area is essentially saying my guf has the better of my neshama.
L’mashal, when it comes to eating, a person may feel I know I shouldn't eat this but I can't help it. My stomach is the strongest ever in my body and wherever I see food I can't help it, I must have it. Is that something to be proud of?
A person has a different taiva. I am so immersed in this taiva that I can't control my taiva. Is this something to be proud of? It's an embarrassment to the person, like the embarrassment of being dependent on some sort of substance. I'm an eved. I don't have the ability to control myself.
Which world does it belong, the world of hester or the world of nigleh? Forget about the etzem mitzvos, the Torah is being koveya for us, in these inyanim, the two worlds, the worlds of hester and gilluy, the worlds of busha and pe'er.
What society has succeeded in doing is saying that in the tsuras adam, taiva comes first and everything else is second and b'meila we're proud of it. It’s amazing that Adam has the ability to warp these techunos. Let’s say a person does something wrong which they should be embarrassed about. But they dig in their heels and say, “Fakhert, I'm proud of it.” This person is presenting as praiseworthy that which should have been hidden. Or the opposite, a person feels ashamed of doing what’s right. He’s being mechaseh that which should be begalui. It’s not just a kilkul in middos – it’s a kilkul of the tzura of the briya.
We need to call it what it is – gilui erva. Erva is his weak point, the point that he can't control of himself, the point where sechel fails him, the point where neshama is gone. That's the weakest point of a person and it belongs in olam hanister. He shouldn't keep it a secret from himself, he should face it forthright and deal with it. But it stays between him and HKBH in olam hanister, not in the olam ha’giluy.
Similiarly, the things that I perceived are a chisaron in me, I don’t talk about them. L’mashal, let's say I'm not doing well in my business, I don't go around telling people I'm a good for nothing, that I'm a lazy bum. People don't talk like that. The reason is because they perceive it as belonging to the world of chisaron and it's the chelek that has no mekom in the world of giluyim.
So why does the person walk around saying I haven't been at shacharis for the last month or two? The answer is because what he's trying to say is I'm cool – cool people don't come to shacharis, smart people don't do this. In a certain sense he's consciously or subconsciously redefining the tzura of the the world. We need to be honest and call it out for what it is.
This is also the reason why we don't talk loshon hora about other people. It’s because that's the chelek of the person that shouldn't be begilluy. Exposing somebody else’s chisronos is like being megaleh erva.
Understand that every person is in a process of development. Chazal tell us to be misbonen in me'ayin basa. Nobody's me'ayin basa is pretty. It's like the mashal that the Rebbi Yehoshua gave about bas Melech in the kitchen – who lost her appetite because things were b’chesronam. Everyone's me'ayin basa is difficult. The chalakim of the person that are b’shleimusam k’tikunum, they have a place in this world, those we should be megaleh. But the chalakim b’kilkulam v’chesroman we should be mastir.
B’chlal, we need to keep in mind – The world is supposed to be megaleh kevodo yisbarach. The chelek of the briyah that is not a kavod should not be revealed. It belongs to the nistarim. But the chelek of the briyah that is kevod Hashem is supposed to be revealed. That is our avodah. עַבְדִּי אָתָּה יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר בְּךָ אֶתְפָּאָר
Good Shabbos!